lately, the weight is unbearable
a heaviness i can’t shake
why do i feel this way?
why does it cling so tightly?
these questions keep me up at night,
leaving me adrift as darkness tighten its grip

even when i wake up,
this heaviness never leaves,
each breath feels like a struggle
like i’m drowning in something i can’t see
things should be okay, shouldn’t they?
but why does this cloud of doubt hover?
a storm i can’t seem to outrun,
a cycle that loops without a name,
an invisible fog that smothers,
leaving me desperate for answers,
answers that never come

i tried to make it better
talking, changing habits,
mustering courage to move forward
for a moment, i thought i was healing,
that i found the way forward
but when the sun sets,
again, i’m back at square one
was i ever truly moving?
or was i just caught in a delusion i allowed myself to believe?
is it me? or is this how things are meant to unfold?
i don’t know anymore,
and it feels like i’m losing it

i hate not knowing this side of myself,
i hate not having answers,
i hate being stuck in this loop,
chasing a never ending road
i hate the suffocating silence,
the feeling that something is holding me down,
tighter and tighter,
a grasp i can’t break free from

Editor’s Note: This article was first published in the Banaag Diwa 2025: Nasaag Literary Folio of Atenews.